Thirty One Years Ago Today....

....in a land far, far away, (North Dakota) ,this sweet little baby was born. Who knew that this tiny bundle of joy would change my life forever....literally.

The little baby grew into a fiesty little boy. And had the gift of bringing life and laughter into the lives of those around him.

The fiesty little boy grew into a handsome young man who dreamed of becoming a sports broadcaster and finding a cute girl along the way.

The handsome young man then grew into the man of my dreams. He won my heart with his quick whit, loving heart and devilish good looks.

This handsome young man is still the man of my dreams, and the best father ever, to our two beautiful girls. Even though the sports broadcaster thing didn't work out, he still managed to find the cute girl. And he lived happily, yes happily, ever after....

Thanks for picking me to be along for the ride of your life....
Happy Birthday Aric, I Love You!

Thank You!

I just have to say how humbled I am by the responses I have gotten from my last post. All of the comments and e-mails have given me such a boost. I appreciate all of the kind words, words of comfort and well wishes. I know I owe Jessica R. for sending most of you my way...so thank you my dear, sweet, fabulous friend. I'm so grateful for the girls who have shared their adoption stories and their struggles with infertility. What a strength and support you are to me. Blogging is so much cheaper than therapy!

"It isn't the load that breaks you...it's the way you carry it"

-Abraham Lincoln

Thank you for helping me carry my load.

Jessica

Lemons and Lemonade

So life has handed me a few lemons. Those of you who know me well know that I've been making "lemonade" since I was a kid. Luckily I've been surrounded by women in my life who have good recipes for lemonade because they have made a few batches themselves. So I'm here to discuss my most recent and unusually sour lemon.

Who would've thought coming from a woman who had five children with no problems that I would have to deal with infertility. On my mom's side I have two tios and two tias. On my dad's side I have seven uncles and one aunt, and my only sister is pregnant with her fifth. Yes, her fifth.

When we were married only five months I got pregnant. We were shocked to say the least. I assumed that I was as fertile as can be, so we were very surprised when it took us a year and a half to get pregnant the second time. Realizing things were difficult the second time we were prepared for it to take awhile the third time around. Well we are three years into the third time around. Aric has endured "The Test" and I have gone through exams, blood tests, hormone tests and surgery. Just to be told that we have "unexplained infertility". I am a "mystery" as my doctor put it. So here we are.

Any of you who have experienced the pain and frustration of infertility know where I am coming from. I am a member of the "Infertile Mertyl Club". My Tia Ines (my mom's sister) was the first person I knew to ever experience infertility. I was a teenager and didn't have a clue as to what she was going through. For one I was totally self absorbed, as most teenagers are, and second I just didn't realize that there was such a thing as infertility. So to my Tia Ines...we finally have something in common. I'm so sorry you had to go through this and I realize what a gift Manuel is to our family considering what it took to bring him into this world. And to my Tio Marco and his wife Dani, you have handled your infertility with such faith, you have been a great example to me. I am so grateful for the other members of this club and wish I had more members around who I could talk to.

Having two children without any "help" truly was a gift. My heart goes out to those women who have had this trial/lemon and never got to experience carrying a child. I will always be grateful that I got to experience pregnancy and birth.

At the moment I have seven dear friends who are at various stages of their pregnancies (including my sister). I am so happy for them. My lemon in no way takes away my excitement or joy for them. I would be lying if I said it didn't sting a little bit to watch their bellies grow. But I realize that just as it is Heavenly Father's plan for each of them to have their babies right now, it is His plan that I am not supposed to have a baby right now. At least the "normal" way.

So this is for my dear, sweet pregnant ladies:

If I knew that Edee would have been my last pregancy,

I would have...

...Been just as excited the day the double line showed up on the stick.

...Not cursed my morning sickness. I would have embraced that first trimester, nausea and all.

...Not wished for the day I fit into my maternity clothes so everyone would know I was pregs and not just getting chubby.
...Been just as excited about the first time I felt the baby move.
...Paid more attention to everytime the baby moved and taken the time to really enjoy what it felt like.
...Appreciated my pregnant body, swollen ankles and all, recognizing the gift that it was just to be pregnant.
...Taken more pictures of my pregnancy instead of hiding behind the camera.
...Tried not to be so anxious for my pregnancy to end. I would have tried to enjoy it more.
...Been just as thrilled as I was when she came out.
...Cried just as hard.
...Held her and smelled her even longer.
...Still stayed up all night looking at her even though I was exhausted from the labor and delivery.

Now, this doesn't mean you can't complain about how uncomfortable you are. I remember just how awful it feels to carry an extra 40+ pounds and feel so tired all the time. I remember having heart burn and thinking my skin is going to pop, after all it can only stretch so much! I just hope that you will savor your pregnancies and maybe in the midst of the nausea and back pain, you will be able to find a happy place remembering the gift that is yours to be pregnant carrying your precious little one.

As for me and my lemon...it's time for me to make some lemonade! Aric and I have decided to adopt a baby through LDS social services. We are almost done with all of the RIDICULOUS paper work, we will be getting finger printed tomorrow and turning in the last of our paper work this week. The Lord has definitely been there for us and we have felt Him guide us to this decision. We appreciate the love and support from our family and friends. Many of you have been along for this painful ride and you have been a huge strength to us. We realize we still have a journey ahead of us and so far it has not been easy but we look forward to sharing our lemonade once this is all said and done.

A Bow-Bah Sighting!

So you must refer to What's A Bow-Bah post if you don't know what a bow-bah is. Anyhow...The other day I was looking for my $4.00 off Olive Garden coupon because I really want to go to Olive Garden but refuse to go without my coupon. I thought I put it by the fridge, so I decided to look under the fridge to see if it had fallen underneath it.

Well...I didn't find my coupon but I found a bow-bah! And I discovered lots of other unpleasant things. Eden took a picture of me digging under the fridge. I had to use a flashlight, a frosting spatula and a yard stick to get all the gunk out. Aric saw my pile of goodies and was pretty disgusted. He couldn't believe I would post a picture of it. He thought I should be emabarassed by my pile of shame. The thing is, I'm pretty sure I am not the only one that hasn't cleaned under their fridge in three years. Am I right? Unless you have moved recently and that doesn't count. So here are the goodies I found. Unfortunatey there was no Olive Garden coupon hiding in the dust bunnies, just a bow-bah and a few other treasures...

Happy Easter!

Easter Weekend was quite exciting full of birthday partying, college basketball watching, shopping, cooking, Easter egg hunting, eating, and Prison break watching...but would you expect anything less from party-ers like us? So Friday started with a bang! A half day of school for Maya and an ear infection to go with it. Poor Maya she just can't catch a break! Aric and I went to a dinner at church and got home in time to watch disc 3 of Prison Break.

Saturday started with a morning run with Amy, we barely survived 2 1/2 miles in the windy frigid air. But I knew what lie ahead, all that yummy food was my motivation. My mom and step-dad, Joe, came up for the weekend. They dyed eggs with the girls and then we had an Easter egg hunt in my sister's gigantic backyard, the kind you don't find in our neighborhood.


We were also celebrating my niece, Mari's (aka THUNDER LIPS), sixth birthday so we had pizza and birthday brownies...good thing I ran!

Before the girls went to bed, we set out their Easter baskets and set out some carrots for the Easter Bunny.
Sunday morning the Easter Bunny did not disappoint. He filled their baskets with goodies, and for Maya sing star High School Musical, and Eden a Barbie Fairytopia movie. Which I was very surprised about. The girls and I e-mail Easter Bunny to tell him about Night at the Museum. One of his bunny helpers must of switched it up. About an hour later when Aric asked Maya to go get the newspaper she saw a package out in the middle of our yard. When she opened it, she was so thrilled to find Night at the Museum. That Easter Bunny came through after all.

The girls were so darling in their Easter dresses. I made them wear white sandals to show off their cute toes despite the cold rain. I just couldn't bring myself to put tights and black dress shoes on with their sweet springy Easter dresses. They are learning at a young age that sometimes you have to sacrifice comfort for fashion.

But don't they look ADORABLE, it was so worth it!

(If I look annoyed to you, it's because my mom took like fifteen pictures and this is the only one that turned out decent.)

After church we hosted Easter dinner. Aric made the ham...soooooo YUMMY!

We had my sister's family (the Stockman's), my parents, and the missionaries from our ward. Also on the menu was...funeral potatoes, green salad, garlic/parm. roasted asparagus and rolls. For dessert, banana cake. Again...so glad I went for that run!

Edee and Tessa and the little, little kid table. Eden wasn't too happy about this so we pushed the table as close to the big table as possible.


It was a nice Easter Sunday. Our church service was beautiful, the kids sang one of my favorite songs "If the Savior Stood Beside Me". Both of the girls knew all the words but Edee sang especially loud. Maya gave her first talk in Senior Primary (the 8-11 crowd). She wrote it mostly by herself and stood at the pulpit all by herself. Aric and I sat there bursting with pride as our sweet, shy little Maya so bravely stood there and bore her testimony on how "Jesus Christ is my Savior" This is her talk. And these are the pictures she chose to go with it. If you double click on the pictures you can read what she wrote.


Most days I feel like I am failing as a mother. I worry that I am not patient enough, or I expect too much. But most of the time I feel like I'm not doing enough. Then I have a moment like today, with Maya. It makes me realize that on many levels I will fail my kids everyday. But when I hear my shy 7 1/2 year old daughter with emotion and confidence, tell a room full of kids and adults that she knows who Jesus is, and that He is her Savior, it makes me feel like I must be doing something right. And if that is all I do right, that will be enough. I know it will be enough because I believe that Jesus is my Savior too, and He will make up for my shortcomings as a mother and as a person. As long as I do my very best and repent when I fall short, He will be there to teach me, to strengthen me, and to guide me. I am so grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ. I know that He suffered in Gethsemane and died on the cross for me, He suffered and died for us all. He gave us the gift of eternal life by rising from the tomb. His resurrection means everything. If we turn to Him, He will be there waiting to lead us back to Him and our Heavenly Father.

I am humbled by His love for me and I feel it everyday. I am so grateful for this Easter holiday that allows us to acknowledge Jesus Christ, and remember what He did for each and every one of us. I hope you all had a wonderful Easter!

First Day of Spring...

This is what was happening when I went to bed last night.


Before Maya and Eden went to bed we had this conversation:

Maya "I'm so excited that tomorrow is the first day of spring!"

Eden "What does that mean?

Me "It means that winter is finally over. And the weather will start getting nicer everyday until it's warm and sunny." under my breath "I hope"

Eden "Oh I'm so excited!"

Then this morning they wake up to the white covered ground.

Maya "This is the worst day ever!"

Me "Why?"

Maya "Because it snowed and I have to wear my snow boats to school or else my feet will get all wet." Then she goes over to the door opens it yells/sings:

"SNOW SNOW GO AWAY DON'T COME BACK ANOTHER DAY!" she shuts the door and continues to unload the dishwasher.

Eden has to put in her two cents and runs over to the door opens it and yells:
"YEAH SNOW I DON'T LIKE YOU. ONLY AT CHRISTMAS TIME I LIKE YOU SO GO AWAY!"
She totally gets distracted and runs into the counter, hurting herself, leaving poor Maya solo to finish unloading the dishwasher.

Maya says "Now I have to unload the dishwasher all by myself, I told you this was the worst day ever."


This is a picture of Eden trying to catch a snowflake...Doesn't seem like spring to me!

Auntie Jo, quit sending the snow! (Aric's aunt lives in Debuque,Iowa and endures horid midwest winters that never, ever end...)

St. Patrick's Day

Our St. Patricks Day was pretty mellow. Maya has an ugly cough so she had to stay home from school. It's one of those things where she acts totally normal but when she coughs it sounds like she's been smoking her whole life. Maya and Eden were fighting and running around like animals most of the day. Just when I'd think I'd throw her in the car and take her to school she would cough and I'd remember why I kept her home. She was devastated to be missing the festivities at school. So we tried to make the most of it.

The girls dressed themselves, (I didn't get a picture of their outfits...danget!) Eden was green from head to toe and Maya was a little more conservative as usual, blue jeans with a green shirt and green socks. We had to go to the store because I was out of laundry detergent and I desperately needed to wash some clothes so I loaded up the girls went to Target. While we were there, Maya would check out everyone that walked by to see if they were wearing green. She whispered to me "Mom, I wish I could pinch the people that weren't wearing green." I told her to go for it. She just looked at me and giggled. I only said it because I knew she'd never do it. But Eden on the other hand would probably do it so I made sure she didn't hear me.

The girls helped me plan our dinner, which included...Sweet & Sour Meatballs with green rice, green applesauce, sauted green beans, and green milk. For dessert...Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. I know it's not a very Irish meal but the girls loved putting green food coloring in everything. When Eden thought of the green beans, she said "We don't even need to put food coloring on them! Isn't that cool!"

After the kids were in bed, we started Season 2 of Prison Break. Since we got the Sampson's addicted to it too, they came over to watch it with us. I love watching it on DVD. It is so much better than waiting to find out what happens week to week... like we have to with LOST. In eight days we watched a whole season! I'm not sure what that says about us. We always wait until the kids are in bed so we don't neglect them. We kind of did that when we watched the first four seasons of 24 on DVD. We decided to be more responsible this time. Having to watch it with the Sampson's helps us not get too crazy, because we have to work with their schedules too.

So that was it. Not the most exciting St. Patrick's Day but I thought I would still post it anyway...