Dealing With It

With all the birthday fun, painting projects and family visits it's overwhelming to think of all the posts that are still yet to be written. I was going to get started on them but I have some stuff I need to vent first.
Here's the thing. Life can be hard. I don't know anyone who has it easy. Some people are more private about their trials so we don't know what is going on. I happen to not be so private. In fact I worry that I am too open sometimes. But I spent most of my life keeping things to myself. I put on a happy face and submerged myself in other peoples problems to escape my own. Not so healthy.
So now as an adult I prefer to be more open and honest. Somehow it doesn't feel so heavy when I know that other people get me, and support me. It doesn't change the trial, it just helps me endure it better. Much more healthy.
Like I've mentioned before, I am no stranger to hard times. I think Heavenly Father blessed me with the gift of faith. I have always been able to find peace in knowing He is there and He has a plan. I don't ever doubt that. What I struggle with is knowing what my part is in fixing or resolving the issue. I try so hard to listen to the spirit and let it guide my path. I act on the inspiration that I feel, but then question what I did, and wonder if it was really inspired. I also struggle with the "why?". If I know why something is happening then I can deal with it better.
But what I have learned is that with some trials, there are no answers for the "why?"...for example...
Why did we get stuck with a horrible adoption agency who is dishonest and uses babies to make money?
Seriously if you know of anyone, especially in the Utah area...tell them to stay clear from the "All For Love" adoption agency. Their name is very similar to the LDS church's agency which is "All About Love". They are sneaky and they prey on vulnerable adoptive couples. They are legitimate enough to place a baby legally, but they bully parents into paying up the wazoo for services they don't provide. I could go on and on but I won't.
Why do we live in a state with insane paternity laws?
We would be better off in any other state in the union. Just because a guy is able to procreate does not make him a father. (So that was the nicest way I could say that. The truth is I wanted to say something way more inappropriate, but I know my mom reads this and I don't want her to blush.)
Why does my mother in law have cancer?                          
She has always been healthy and taken care of herself. This amazing woman would walk in a  North Dakota blizzard in 30 below wind chill just to get exercise. Seriously, there are people who drink and smoke and eat horrible and yet they dodge the cancer bullet. IT MAKES NO SENSE!
So this is what I have been struggling with lately. Then I went to a counseling session with my mom....whole other post....where our counselor read me a scripture. It was in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
"Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted of God."
I'm sure I have read those verses before but never had they made so much sense. When Heavenly Father asks us to go through hard things it is so that we can develop a sanctified sensitivity. So that when someone is suffering, we can offer the comfort that only comes from knowing that kind of pain.
I know he was inspired to share this scripture with me. It doesn't take any of my pain away but it helps me understand my suffering. I have been blessed with amazing friends and family that have been a huge support to me. But none of them know what this feels like. I would love to have someone to talk to and cry with, that gets this kind of pain. My sister so lovingly pointed out that I do have someone. That someone is Christ. He knows my pain, he knows how I can't sleep at night, he knows the fears that I have. I am grateful for his comfort and hope that one day I will be able to comfort someone in the same way that he has comforted me.
In the meantime....life goes on.
Babies need to be fed:

Kids need to go swimming:

Flowers need to be smelled:

 

Cakes need to be made for fun family functions:

Family vacations need to be had:

And old friends need to come for a visit and bring cute kids that are exactly the same ages as my kids:

(Jen and I met in high school, her friendship has gotten me through some of my darkest days. She just moved from Boston to Utah because her husband is the new associate conductor for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Yeah pretty sweet huh.)
Cute kids acting out the parable of the "four" virgins...

...and sweet boys who don't cooperate with cameras.

So basically what I'm saying is this... I've had some rough days lately, which is one of the reasons I haven't blogged. But the good always out weighs the bad. Everyday is a choice to be frustrated and sad or hopeful and happy. Today I choose happy, I hope you do too.

Eden's Family Party

Okay I know this is getting annoying...all the catch up posts. But someday I WILL do a blurb book and this all has to documented. So bear with me here...
The day before Eden's birthday we had a party with the family. Aric's parents were here from North Dakota and my mom and Joe came up too.
So here is a run down of  Saturdays festivities...
Eden got a bike a month earlier from Grandma K and Papa R. She still scored with some cash that she is going to blow at Claire's.

Maya made Edee a cute elephant card...

Maya also used her own money to buy Eden this elephant key chain and some silver hoop earrings. Eden had been asking for silver hoops for months. She was so excited to finally get some big girl earrings.

The cousins also made some pretty clever cards...

Here she is with some of her birthday loot...

She got a real baseball bat and a real glove from the Abuelita's and Papa Joe...

The girls had been asking to redo their room. So I told them that instead of getting a bunch of presents for their birthdays, we would redecorate their room. Which explains this next present...

It's a giant pillow that matches her new bedspread. It also happens to be her favorite color.

Eden wanted her birthday colors to be blue, pink and black. Those are Rock Star colors...in case you didn't know.

After the presents and cake it was time to party outside...

   

This is a picture of the men filling up the water balloons...

There was an unruly hose that got Grandma K all wet...
 

This is what a 30 second water balloon fight looks like...

This is what happens when A is in charge of the hose...
 

Here are a few slip and slide moments...

Poor Tessa just couldn't quite get the hang of it so Papa J and Uncle A had to help her out...

  

Here are the two Grandma's staying clear from the water...

Here is our birthday queen soaking up the sun...

...and telling secrets.

After some fun in the sun, we came in for some Sing Star...

Papa J challenged Olivia to Eye of the Tiger and lost...

What's a family party without a PINATA!

Max had a good time pushing Camden around...

...and going down the slide.

Camden had a good time getting lots of love and attention...

Birthdays are always a lot of work, but they are always worth it. With Maya's birthday next week and a big family bash this weekend I really should be cleaning instead of blogging. So now I'm off to bond with the vacuum.

Eden's Rock Star Party

Eden has been planning her birthday since the day after her last birthday. At first she wanted a High School Musical party. But after our "rockin'" First Friday party she decided she wanted a Rock Star Party too.
So this is Eden with her fellow rockers...

She had picked out her "elefit" two weeks before. She decided to put tape on the pieces that she was going to wear to remind herself not to wear them so they wouldn't get dirty. Maya did Eden's hair and make up that day.
There was some serious rocking out during Sing Star ...

There was some hard core cake eating...

* Okay I have to explain the cake. Normally I do something pretty cool. Eden wanted a cake that was her playing the guitar...um...totally beyond my skill level. So I thought I would just do a plain pink guitar. The problem was I made the white cake too light and there was no way I was going to be able to carve it, on top of that I needed more cake. And besides all of that...I just didn't have it in me to do it. So what you see is what she got. L.AM.E. But by the look on her face, I think she was happy with it.

After opening presents all the girls wanted to do was watch a movie in the theater room. So I, of course, obliged. They thought I was so nice because they all got to stay an extra hour. What they didn't realize is that I had a whole hour and a half of peace  that allowed me to clean up the mess and finish the laundry. Now that's what I call a "WIN, WIN!" situation.

So Much to Blog, So Little Time...

Here's some of the good:
* I painted the entire first floor of my house.
* We planted eleven bushes and one tree in our backyard.
* I am almost finished with my sisters mega home makeover.
* Eden had two birthday parties.
* Grandma Kathy found a doctor that is doing a clinical trial that she qualifies for and he happens to be in Idaho...Yay!
* Our six day Seattle extravaganza...oh the memories that were made.

Here's some of the bad:
* We had to cancel our August 15th sealing. We thought the adoption would be finalized this week...but nope. Long story. Dumb attorney.
* My running injury won't go away.
* We still can't find a pool...we've tried out two that didn't work.
* I still have to paint the second level of my house.
* Evan is in the finals instead of Ade...only "So You Think You Can Dance" fans will understand that pain.

And the ugly:
* Aric passed what we hope is his last kidney stone on Eden's birthday. Nothing like spending the wee hours of the morning in the ER. Thankfully my parents were here so we didn't have to worry about the kids.
* I've been trying to help a baby that was just born, get to it's adoptive parents. The birth dad won't sign consent, the birth mom has had a couple picked out for eight months. They came up to be with her while she gave birth. Then the birth dad decided not to sign. It's a mess. These kids are teenagers. I'm talking high school.
The only reason I am even including this in my post is in the hopes that if you ever find that you are in a position of influence in a situation like this, please counsel them wisely. Adoption is the ONLY option! This baby has a loving home waiting for him. With parents who can support him emotionally, physically, and financially. It is so heartbreaking.

ANYHOO...
I will be back soon with some exciting posts and pictures. In the meantime here is a funny video.