I totally craved mangos and chocolate milkshakes while I was pregnant with you. At one point one of the nurses kindly told me that I needed to lay off the shakes because I gained 8 pounds in one week! Daddy started making me fruit smoothies but that didn't last long. I embraced my weight and drank my shakes.
We thought you were a boy for the first almost eight months of my pregnancy. I had visions of baseball hats and all things blue. Then I found out you were a girl. I was equally excited, the only dilemma was that I hated the color pink! Back then there wasn't really any shade I knew of except bubble gum and I just wasn't a fan. My dear friend Alisynn knew this about me and got me this sweet RED out fit for you. I still have it. Camden wears it. Oh and you have never liked the color pink. I love that your favorite color is green.
We were SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO poor when you were born. We lived in this tiny rental house. It had the grossest, ugliest brown carpet I had ever seen. It had a wood stove that made the house smell smokey. It had only two tiny rooms upstairs. The windows didn't have screens, so when I changed your diapers I would just throw them out the window and then Daddy would gather them and put them in the trash can.
I read the book "What to Expect When You are Expecting" cover to cover. I thought that I knew everything I needed to be a mom. I had convinced myself that I was completely prepared. The truth is that deep down inside I was terrified. All those years of teaching, babysitting and being a big sister/cousin and still I was so afraid of breaking you. This picture reminds me of how I felt during that time.
Fact #5Um...you see that blue hideous dress I am wearing in the above picture...well I hated it. Your dad hated it. It only cost 8 bucks and it was the only cool and comfortable thing I had to wear so I wore it ALL the time. To make myself feel cute when wearing it, I always wore a necklace.
Your birth was the most amazing thing and the scariest thing I have ever experienced. I will never forget it. It is forever burned in my heart. I will never forget what it felt like to hold you for the first time. That is why I love this picture. It was the first time I ever saw you, smelled you, kissed you and held you.
You were born at 8:48pm. Even though I was completely exhausted and loaded up on drugs, I couldn't sleep. The nurses kept trying to take you out of my room but I wouldn't let them. I just wanted to hold you. I would stare at you and cry. I couldn't believe that you were real! I sang you every lullaby and primary song that I knew.
The moment you were born, I discovered that it was possible to love someone instantly. I found out how deeply I could love . I found out how close heaven really is. You instantly changed me forever. Your spirit was so strong it healed parts of heart that I never thought could be whole. So even though I was the one taking care of you, you were actually the one taking care of me.
Your birth gave me a greater love for Daddy. I loved watching him play with you. He was so worried about how he would provide for our little family but every time he held you, he melted, and you brought peace to his heavy heart.
How did nine years go by so fast! It's hard to believe that my sweet baby girl is now nine years old. You continue to bring peace, joy, love and healing into my life. I love being your mom, I hope you had a great birthday!