Heartpang

What is a heartpang? I'm not sure if it is even a real word but it I'll tell you what it is. It is when your heart throbs but it isn't really painful, more like a...pang. It's just a tiny tug that causes a lump in the throat and teary eyes. Heartpangs can come out of no where and take you by surprise. Like when you are standing in the scooter isle picking out your 2yr olds birthday present. Or when you see a little dark baby with nappy hair standing in the movie ticket line being held by his mama.

The cause of my heartpang is this...

I no longer have a baby. 

I have two year old. 

I have a toddler.

I'm not sure when or how this happened. I am not taking it well. I want to have a video recorder on at all times to capture every adorable word/phrase like....

"What's your prwobwem Wyan?" (what's your problem Ryan, whomever else he decides to be rude to)

"Hey Mom! Guess what?...." (then he will go on for about 5 minutes about who knows what. usually it's about a twuck or a heyicopter in the snow)

"Hey Mom! Camden's scayed a da dawk." (scared of the dark)

"Hey Mom! Camden's scayed a da twain." (scared if the train)

"What da heck!"

"Awh you kidding me!?"



"Oh Cwap!"

"DANGET!" (and occasionally the other word. have no idea where he got that one)

"I no yike dat neny more" (i don't like that anymore, which is accompanied by this pouty face)

"NO, dat MINE!"

"Danks Mom!" (thanks mom)

"What time is it mom?" (i say 2:36 or whatever time it is...he says, "oh." and then laughs and asks again about 20 times)

If I ask him what time it is he usually says, "Eight O'cyock"

Camden says the cutest prayers...they always start with "Henenny Fahdah" and then goes on to say "yank Him for da day, da bood" and says specifically what he is eating ex: sanwich, bagel, mac n cheese, pasta, cheese stick and gugurt. He will throw in something about Maya and Edee at school and then ends with "in na name Chezus Kyst....AHHHMen."

When he or anyone else sneezes he says "SAH-YUUUUD!" (salud, which means bless you in Spanish)

When he is really serious about something he gets really close to my face and says it in a whisper. It's the cutest thing ever!

He can run faster than me and he can change directions like he's dancing on a football field. Which means he could get lost in stores rather quickly. This may or may not have happened before.

He can put more food in his mouth than any human I have ever seen. The only problem is that he doesn't swallow it. This is so disgusting. You have no idea how gross a carrot, cucumber, turkey, tomato and potato, look like sitting in the palm of my hand after they have all been sitting in his mouth for 20 minutes! The craziest part is that he can food discriminate in his mouth. He can have all of the above mention tucked away in his cheeks but still eat a roll, a piece of candy and take drink all while keeping the other stuff safe and sound in the food pouches we call cheeks.

He likes to make sure his face is clean so he will take his spoon and scrape any unruly food that didn't make it into his mouth. It is hilarious!

He loves to sing. He is very particular about his music and always has requests. He likes to sing the same songs ten times before we can switch it up. He can also learn songs very quickly. I love to listen to him sing to himself.

He loves to dance. When he gets up from his nap sometime's he will request to dance before his snack. His favorite dance songs are Dynamite (Taio Cruz) and Step by Step (NKOTB).

He LOVES....L.O.V.E.S Little Bill. The more I watch it the more I realize that I have my own real life "Little Bill"

When he gets hurt he always runs to me for a kiss on his owie, once I have kissed it he says "Dat's Bettah Now."

When I get him dressed or undressed and his shirt gets stuck on his head he says..."Whed he Go?" (where did he go?) "Deh he is!" (there he is!)

I could go on and on. I just realized how boring this post might be to other people, but these are the things I don't ever want to forget. It helps with my heartpangs to get these things all documented.

Today was Camden's birthday. It's bittersweet for me for so many reasons. Part of me aches at the thought of the moment he entered the world and I wasn't there to see it. I hate that I didn't know he was even here until he was 12 hours old and I didn't get to hold him until he was two days old! But never the less...today is a day to celebrate. Two years ago today my little boy, the one I had been praying for, aching for, longing for....was born.

Happy Birthday Mr. C! You are loved more than you will ever know!

*I have some great video clips to go along with this post but this blasted blogger is giving me troubles! I need my friend Mahina to hook me up with her dad so that he can help me get Live Writer again!!!!!!

**I am still in Utah...been here since last Saturday. I have so much to blog but it will have to wait until I get home. It's a miracle that I got this post out!

Give me an M!

M is for MAMMOGRAM!

This post was meant for last month. In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month I decided to go in and have my first mammogram. 

A little over a year ago my beloved Tia Ana was diagnosed with breast cancer. 

Thankfully she was able to get the cancer removed and she has been cancer free for a year now. When I got her email with the news I was stunned. I was scared. All I could think of was my friend's mom who died of breast cancer when we were 14. Her battle was long and horrific. Watching my own mother in law battle her cancer has been so so hard. I just couldn't imagine another loved one going through it. We fasted. We prayed. Her life has been preserved.

So because of my tia's cancer, oh and the fact that I am now 35, my doctor decided that it was time for me to get a mammogram. I'm not sure why, but I was a little nervous. I lightened the mood by documenting this momentous event for my Tia Ana and for all of you. (Don't worry their are no scandalous photos...

The machine looked a little intimidating. While the technician got the computer ready I just kept looking at the machine trying to figure out how it was going to hurt me. The technician was very professional and she made a very uncomfortable situation seem like no big deal. 

At one point I got a little emotional. I started thinking of all the women who have come in for this routine visit with not a care in the world, just to find out that their lives were about to change forever. I have a friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 30, this year she will be four years cancer free. I thought of her and all the other amazing, courageous women who have literally fought for their lives. All of the sudden I felt so grateful for that machine and the modern medicine that has saved so many lives and given the gift of time to so many people. 

Thankfully my results came back free and clear but I will be back for another round of smashing and pulling next year just to make sure my bumps don't have lumps!

Thirty-Five

I turned 35 on November 3rd. For the most part I am totally okay with that number. I'm not sure how I feel about my next birthday when I will be closer to 40 than I am to 30 but for now thirty five feels just fine.

So the Sunday before my birthday, which was Halloween, my sister had us over for dinner and a little surprise party. I was totally surprised. My birthday is so close to Halloween that I get distracted with that holiday so I don't realize that b-day is right around the corner. I was showered with lots of love and awesome homemade cards.

On my birthday Aric got Camden-care arranged and took me out to lunch. We ate at the Mustard Seed, can I just pause for a moment of silence dedicated to the AH-MAZING plate of green beans that I devoured...

*pause*

...Okay now I can continue...the food was so good, but the best part was having a real meal, in the middle of the day without kids! 

Aric had a meeting so he left me at the mall, ALL. BY. MYSELF. It was so strange. I never go to the mall, especially by myself. It felt so strange to be alone. I didn't quite know what to do with myself. 

That night Aric made some food for the kids and we ate cereal because we were so full from lunch. After dinner we had the obligatory cake/candle. My husband knows me so well, he knew that I couldn't be happier with a hostess cupcake. 

For my birthday he tried to surprise me with a new phone but that required my input, so after a whole lot of talk I ended up getting an ipod touch and then I will get a cheap phone through Aric's company's plan. So here I am being so "surprised" by my gift. Poor guy he is all about the surprise and I always screw it up.

Had I known a mac was in my near future I would've passed on the ipod but too late. Now I have two fancy new gadgets.

I had a great birthday. I love how facebook makes you feel so loved. I also got some from very special birthday wishes via phone calls. I even was serenaded in Portuguese by one very talented answering machine message leaver...Michael C. Sampson. If only I could put those on the blog...

On Saturday some of my fabulous friends took me out to lunch. I even splurged on a whole boat of alfredo just for me...(thanks Jess!) 

After lunch I got to go antique shopping with Cami. It was so much fun! I couldn't have asked for a better birthday week. Even though I prefer to be on the other side of honoring and celebrating the people I love, having the attention on me that week made me feel so blessed. I am so grateful to have people in my life who love me and who are glad that I was born!

Catching Up...Halloween

The past three weeks have been busy so be prepared for some frequent posting...

HaLLoWeEn!

(This a picture of Eden with her "bat cave")

Sunday being the Sabbath and all...we decided that we would make the most out of the holiday by partying on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.

MoNDaY

My stepdad was in town so he spent an evening with us carving pumpkins.

Papa Joe brought a funny costume for C which was clearly a little small for him.

WedNeSDaY

We went to my sister's ward party...

Camden would only eat if he was fed like a baby bird. Tia Evelynne to the rescue...I am so over this kids eating issues. That is a whole other post...

FriDaY

 Friday we partied hard at the school.

I always help out with the parties so I always dress up. I am usually the only parent that does, thank heavens Cami and I have kids in the same class so I didn't look so ridiculous dressed up by myself!

Maya's class had "a minute to win it" theme.

I made these ridiculously, time intensive mummies. They were all gone in like 30 seconds.

Eden and Macy... a couple of darling princesses.

Eden is posing weird in this picture to show off her tattoos.

SaTurDaY

We had a lot of friends who also wanted to trick or treat on Saturday night instead of Sunday so we were still able to give Camden his first trick or treating experience...

We hit the streets with our good friends the Nebs.

Are these not the cutest trick or treaters you ever saw?

So that was our Halloween. We had great weather and the best part was that my kids actually made four dollars because they turned in more than half their loot to the local dentist's office and got paid for turning it in! Yes, I live in the best place ever!

***I MISS WINDOWS LIVE WRITER!!!!!***

SERIOUSLY!!!!

I have been without a computer for 3 weeks...THA-REEE freaking weeks! I'm dying! Right now I am at my sister's so I am using her computer to get a post out. It all started with an annoying virus that I thought I had gotten rid of. It apparently opened the door to a really horrible virus that took my computer out. Thankfully I had archived my pictures three weeks before so I didn't have a total meltdown. I gave my computer to a friend's husband who is all knowing when it comes to computers. He worked on it for over a week,  he told me our computer was the first computer he hasn't been able to fix....he works on computers for a living HELLO! So after I digested that awful news I started researching computers...laptop vs desktop...mac vs. dell/hp...honestly it about made my head explode! It had been almost seven years since we bought a computer, a lot has changed in seven years. So two nights ago, after lots of help from Aaron at Best Buy, I bought a macbook. I'm scared of it. I barely took it out of the box last night. It started talking to me. Seriously, talking. I was able to look at a disc with our family pictures on it but that was all I did with it. It is totally itimidating. I'm still not sure if I am keeping it...unless it starts cooking dinner and doing laundry.