Saturday, November 27, 2010


What is a heartpang? I'm not sure if it is even a real word but it I'll tell you what it is. It is when your heart throbs but it isn't really painful, more like a...pang. It's just a tiny tug that causes a lump in the throat and teary eyes. Heartpangs can come out of no where and take you by surprise. Like when you are standing in the scooter isle picking out your 2yr olds birthday present. Or when you see a little dark baby with nappy hair standing in the movie ticket line being held by his mama.

The cause of my heartpang is this...

I no longer have a baby. 
I have two year old. 
I have a toddler.

I'm not sure when or how this happened. I am not taking it well. I want to have a video recorder on at all times to capture every adorable word/phrase like....

"What's your prwobwem Wyan?" (what's your problem Ryan, whomever else he decides to be rude to)

"Hey Mom! Guess what?...." (then he will go on for about 5 minutes about who knows what. usually it's about a twuck or a heyicopter in the snow)

"Hey Mom! Camden's scayed a da dawk." (scared of the dark)

"Hey Mom! Camden's scayed a da twain." (scared if the train)

"What da heck!"

"Awh you kidding me!?"

"Oh Cwap!"

"DANGET!" (and occasionally the other word. have no idea where he got that one)

"I no yike dat neny more" (i don't like that anymore, which is accompanied by this pouty face)

"NO, dat MINE!"

"Danks Mom!" (thanks mom)

"What time is it mom?" (i say 2:36 or whatever time it is...he says, "oh." and then laughs and asks again about 20 times)

If I ask him what time it is he usually says, "Eight O'cyock"

Camden says the cutest prayers...they always start with "Henenny Fahdah" and then goes on to say "yank Him for da day, da bood" and says specifically what he is eating ex: sanwich, bagel, mac n cheese, pasta, cheese stick and gugurt. He will throw in something about Maya and Edee at school and then ends with "in na name Chezus Kyst....AHHHMen."

When he or anyone else sneezes he says "SAH-YUUUUD!" (salud, which means bless you in Spanish)

When he is really serious about something he gets really close to my face and says it in a whisper. It's the cutest thing ever!

He can run faster than me and he can change directions like he's dancing on a football field. Which means he could get lost in stores rather quickly. This may or may not have happened before.

He can put more food in his mouth than any human I have ever seen. The only problem is that he doesn't swallow it. This is so disgusting. You have no idea how gross a carrot, cucumber, turkey, tomato and potato, look like sitting in the palm of my hand after they have all been sitting in his mouth for 20 minutes! The craziest part is that he can food discriminate in his mouth. He can have all of the above mention tucked away in his cheeks but still eat a roll, a piece of candy and take drink all while keeping the other stuff safe and sound in the food pouches we call cheeks.

He likes to make sure his face is clean so he will take his spoon and scrape any unruly food that didn't make it into his mouth. It is hilarious!

He loves to sing. He is very particular about his music and always has requests. He likes to sing the same songs ten times before we can switch it up. He can also learn songs very quickly. I love to listen to him sing to himself.

He loves to dance. When he gets up from his nap sometime's he will request to dance before his snack. His favorite dance songs are Dynamite (Taio Cruz) and Step by Step (NKOTB).

He LOVES....L.O.V.E.S Little Bill. The more I watch it the more I realize that I have my own real life "Little Bill"

When he gets hurt he always runs to me for a kiss on his owie, once I have kissed it he says "Dat's Bettah Now."

When I get him dressed or undressed and his shirt gets stuck on his head he says..."Whed he Go?" (where did he go?) "Deh he is!" (there he is!)

I could go on and on. I just realized how boring this post might be to other people, but these are the things I don't ever want to forget. It helps with my heartpangs to get these things all documented.

Today was Camden's birthday. It's bittersweet for me for so many reasons. Part of me aches at the thought of the moment he entered the world and I wasn't there to see it. I hate that I didn't know he was even here until he was 12 hours old and I didn't get to hold him until he was two days old! But never the is a day to celebrate. Two years ago today my little boy, the one I had been praying for, aching for, longing for....was born.

Happy Birthday Mr. C! You are loved more than you will ever know!

*I have some great video clips to go along with this post but this blasted blogger is giving me troubles! I need my friend Mahina to hook me up with her dad so that he can help me get Live Writer again!!!!!!

**I am still in Utah...been here since last Saturday. I have so much to blog but it will have to wait until I get home. It's a miracle that I got this post out!


Shirley said...

Heartpangs are the best! Thank you for sharing those awesome and precious moments with your little man!

Jessica said...

Two is too old. Love that boy AND that we get to have our two little two year olds together. We'll have heartpangs at the same time for the rest of our lives!

Natalie said...

I can't believe how big he is and how much he is talking! I think motherhood is one big giant, wonderful, (but painful sometimes?), heart pang. I thought about you when i was getting ready on thanksgiving morning. I think i will always think about your life changing 2 short years ago on thanksgiving. special day for a special boy. enjoy your time in utah and drive safely home!

Lauren in GA said...

You said it so perfectly. I am having heart pangs heare, too. My sister said, "Your baby is so big...he isn't a baby anymore!" and I (jokingly) snapped, "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!! He will always be a tiny little baby!!"

This post was not boring at all. I loved evey word and every quote!!

I also love the new pictures and quotes on your sidebar. Your kids are gorgeous, hilarious and awesome, Jessica.

Dave and Ash said...

Wow, he's looking so big and old and cute. And it sounds like he's talking up a storm.


the wrath of khandrea said...

i read the whole thing, and i loved him more with every line. seriously, i want him and faith to get married right now, and live little adult lives but still be adorable two year olds with their baby talk. separate cribs, of course.

Ashley said...

Happy Birthday Mr. C. I have been thinking about you guys all weekend long... this was such an amazing time two years ago and he continues to make things amazing. We love that boy! Great post Jess.

Leah said...

I am so so glad I finally got to meet my cute little cousin. I love you, Camden! Happy Birthday!

Lindsey said...

Cutest boy. I love that you get to enjoy every moment of his life, and know that he was meant just for YOU! :) Love your story! I have been missing you too! Hope that all is well!

Tina said...

I LOVED this post! What a cute little boy you have! Hope you are doing well!

Cynthia said...

I'm getting all teary eyed reading this...and that doesn't happen very much. He is such a sweet boy and I'm so glad I got to see him on your visit. I'll never forget running with you on that Thanksgiving Day two years ago.
Cynthia J.

Jean McKendrick said...

I can't believe he is 2 already, I started following your blog not too long before you got him. I remember your story of being on the run and getting the call. Time goes so fast. I love hearing "C" stories, reminds me so much of my experience with my two little wild men. He's a beautiful boy, lucky to have you for his mom.

Rochelleht said...

HA HA! That food stuff cracked me up. Grace used to ALWAYS do that. I had almost forgotten about it. Thanks for reminding me. Too funny!!

calibosmom said...

I am in love!!! I know someday I will see you but I may just push you over and go straight for Cam-I had heartpangs just reading this. Side note-Hannah used to say "Dannit dannit dannit" all the time...Unfortunately she got it from me. Oops!