There is such a thing as TOO MUCH Food Network

While in Boston we were limited on TV channels due to our very tight budget. So when the kids were allowed TV time the only channel they could all agree on was Food Network. I figured it was safe. I knew I wouldn't have to worry about anything inappropriate scarring my children, (except Giada, seriously woman, someone buy her a cami!) but little did I know that this channel would end up scarring me!

So in case you aren't familiar with the Food Network channel, it is basically all food, all the time. Every show is dedicated to the preparation of some sort of food, my kids' favorite shows are "Cupcake Wars", "Chopped" and "The Next Food Network Star".

So a month or so into our new life in Boston, we woke up to a sticky floor in the kitchen. Camden was apparently thirsty in the middle of the night so he decided to get himself a cup of juice mixed with additional water and who knows what else, which he did manage to pour all over the floor while getting just enough in the cup to spill on his bed and on the carpet. I was NOT happy and he got put in the corner.

(This was C's main source of punishment while we were in Boston. It was kind of hard to take toys or privileges away since he hardly had any to begin with! He had to have a towel on his head when he got put in the corner because after awhile we realized his special pink hair stuff was leaving marks on the walls.)

A couple nights later Aric and I woke up to some noises (mind you it was a 900sqft apartment, if someone was up it wasn't hard to hear them). I made Aric go check it out. In my 2 am grogginess I heard him say "Uh Jess, you better get out here" so I drug myself off of the mattress we shared on the floor...

...where we found Camden in the kitchen helping himself to some cheese and making some homemade lemonade with lemon juice and sugar...

We were not happy about this. We explained to him again how this is not okay and he cannot help himself to the kitchen in the middle of the night. At this point I was getting annoyed, we didn't know what to do. We couldn't lock him in his room because he shared it with Maya and Eden who needed to be able to get out to go to the bathroom at night.

A couple mornings later we found this mess spread out all over the kitchen...this time he had taken out a pot and it was sitting on the stove as if to cook something!!!

I couldn't believe it! Not only another gigantic mess but the waste...THE WASTE!!! I had just opened that jam, that relish and the mustard! AND he poured salsa on top of my yummy cake left overs that I was saving for myself to eat when no one was looking...I was so angry. He got yelled at, he got put in the corner, he lost his snacks and dessert for the day. There was wailing that I'm sure made our neighbors that lived next door wonder what kind of torture I was putting my child through...(though I assure you it was nothing more than the torture my nose had to endure every time I walked out of my apartment into the hall, whatever inscense they were burning or spices they were cooking with made me want to cry everyday.)

After getting in huge trouble, Maya was trying to comfort him. That is when I heard him say something about making a special dish...he also used phrases like "trying to be creative" "I liked the texture" and "something savory" and that's when it dawned on me that it was that blasted Food Network that had possessed my 3 year old!

I had good long talk with him about how there was a reason they didn't let 3 yr olds be on Chopped and that it was dangerous and that if he wanted to make something he needs to ask me and we will do it during the day...yadda, yadda, yadda. Thankfully that talk did the trick and we didn't have another kitchen incident while we were in Boston...unfortunately, I can't say the same thing about living here in Utah. So sadly, we have had to cut back on his Food Network viewing again...