Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Holding on and letting go

T'was the night before the first day of school
and all through this home,
The children were all anxious and the mom...writing a poem,
Backpacks to label and lunch boxes to fill,
Fifty pencils to sharpen because no one else will.
Outfits to try on, find the "one" that's just right,
So in the morning we have peace instead of a  fight.
Once blessings are given and dinner all done,
It's time to get showered, brushed and blow fun!
After lots of hugs and kisses, and their prayers all said,
She tucks in her sweeties, and makes sure they're all cozy in bed.
Now the happy mom sits, alone, in her home quiet and still,
The happy mom turns sad realizing the silence that fills.
That silence, so foreign, will now become part of her days,
Some say it's great and she should have fun and go play.
But that silence represents something more, something deep,
The silence is actually a loud clock sounding...BEEP BEEP!
That clock is the time that seems to come and quickly go,
The babies that once crawled are now running...see them go!
"I'm not ready" she screams, "Where the heck is the snooze!",
The clock keeps beeping as if to taunt her "Too bad ,you lose!"
The now, weeping mom, struggles to wrap her mind around it all,
It's no use, she gives up, and lets all her tears just free fall.
She let's them all out...but wait...oh no, here comes some more,
They all need to come out before she sends her girls out the door.
By morning the girls will be ready, because it's their time to grow,
The mom tells herself she's prepared them well, so she must let them go.
There are lessons to be learned and lots of friends to be made,
Things she can't teach them, things they will need someday.
So tonight the mom prays for the strength she will need,
To send her precious ones out, oh how her heart pleads...
"Heavenly Father, keep them safe, give them courage, give them grace,
Please give them the strength for whatever they may face.
And Father, I pray, no matter what their days ahead may bring,
Don't ever let them forget who they are, and exactly what that means.
Oh Father, if I may, ask for that same courage and grace,
To get me through, at least, the next couple of days.
You see my arms are now empty, empty way too soon,
I didn't plan for this time to come so quickly, like I said "way to soon!"
Please help me hold on to the joy that each season of life brings,
Let my heart find a happy song during this season of my life, to sing."
As the mom closes her prayer she begins to hear a quiet song,
Could it really be coming from her heart? That didn't take long!
God had heard her prayer and her request he quickly answered,
She recognized the song and knew every single word!
"Be still my soul:  the Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief and pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change he faithful will remain.
Be still my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end."
And that was it, the song that she needed to feel all was right,
So off she went to sleep with her little ones, and yes she had a good night.

Whoa!!!! I didn't expect that to come flowing out!  Seriously!Clearly I'm going through stuff right now...
If you are still reading, here are the pictures of our "Back to School" dinner. 
The girls picked the menu...
Grilled Steak, Garlic Parm Asparagus, Cooked Carrots, Crescent Rolls (courtesy of Pillsbury) with Cherry 7-UP to drink.
Be still my soul...


Lauren in GA said...

So, so, sweet...the, "be still my soul..." was the perfect ending.
What a creative post. Kudos :)

"Fifty pencils to sharpen because no one else will." Ah, so true ;)

Lindsey said...

Jess, I am sorry. I am sure this is so difficult for you. Are HF's blessings of peace so wonderful? I am glad you are taking advantage of them. I am thinking about you today!

day in the life of a prince said...

I shouldn't have read this, made me cry. Your poem is perfect!!! They do grow so fast, I can't believe how time goes, and you just hope the things you teach them will stay with them!!

Becky said...

Didn't know you wrote poetry too...yet another talent! I love that hymn, it has given me comfort many times. I too have had to try and wrap my mind around the fact I'm in a new stage of life. I always figured I'd have a large family but because of my medical issues Jess is our last. Within the last few weeks, since praying about it in the temple, Heavenly Father has given me peace over it and all I have ahead of me.

Jessica said...

Glad I have you to commiserate with!

AMY said...

I was seriously crying. Your girls look so... pretty.

PS about the bugs... the beetle is absolutely disgusting. Like you, I hate everything about bugs and the way they make me feel just when I look at them... especially the gigantic ones. Thank goodness it wasn't in your house. I love the picture of Aric as the victor against the wasp nest!

Ilene said...

Please pass the asparagus.

I'm super impressed with your poem. Good luck with the school thing! You can do it!

Mrs Ana said...

Sob,Sob,as my tears flow! Words of wisdom from someone who has let 4 little birds fly the coop to kindergarten,to junior high,3 to high school and 2 to college. Take one step at a time and find joy in the time you have to nourish your spirit, so that you will be prepared to receive them at the end of the day. Time does fly, but there is joy to be had and time to rebuild yourself, your marriage and stregthen your relationship with the Lord. Our marriages take a beaten when we're raising kids. Be good to yourself and be proud of what you have accomplished so far. There is so much fun in every stage of their lives savor every minute and the tears of sadness will turn to tears of joy for what these two little ones are becoming. They are precious and I love them dearly!! Feel my love and arms around you,hug-hug!

Love, your Tia

p.s.There's nothing scarier than letting them drive by themselves for the first time! Yikes!!

Mahina said...

that was awesome, incredible, touching, and very heartfelt! you are a woman of hidden talent!

i wish my lala was able to start kindergarten, her b-day is too late! arrrrgh!

so, are you telling me that your girls ASK for asparagus and carrots? i need some lessons on getting my picky eaters to ASK for those things! please help!

♥Shally said...

Love that song.

HATE that our kids have to grow up!!

Lindsay said...

Sniff...if we move in with you it won't be so quiet. I'd do it just for you...hahaha! We're not moving away...somewhere close by. Your girls are so lucky to have you and you them!

Melissa-Mc said...

Motherhood is truly bittersweet. Isn't it a comfort we are not alone in this awesome task?

Beautiful poem.

Meghann said...

Add poetry to your list of MANY talents.

the Aymster said...

OK, now I'm crying and my kids have been in school for 3 weeks already!! You are inspiring.

Erin said...

Just came back to read this AGAIN. :) This has been hard for me in some of the same ways--you know. I was *supposed* to have another little one at home to keep me company by now. Sniffle.

I'm going to go hum a little hymn now too..