Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Not my best moment...

So I'm about to show a side of me that is rarely seen. Only my close family has ever seen this side. I have spent years taming the beast, but today I let'er go...
I have a temper. There I said it. It's not like I walk around an angry person but if so provoked on a subject that is near and dear to me than I can fly off the handle like nobody's business. I have been blessed with an ability to easily express myself with words. I am really good at fighting, and if there was such thing as scoring I would most likely win all battles I was engaged in. Thankfully most of me is kind, loving and generous. I give most people the benefit of the doubt. I do not seek confrontation, but if the door is flung wide open I, unfortunately, on occasion, will run right through it.
Okay back to this morning....8:30am to be exact.
So I was just finishing up my eight mile run. I was feeling good. As I approached my back gate, which opens up into my back yard, I see the neighbors cat on my fence.
I don't like cats. You don't understand I LOATHE them! I'm not an animal fan period. I get that people love them, I really do and that is fine. I just have a very sensitive nose and no matter how clean your pet is, they still smell. The thing I hate most about pets is the poop and  the pee they create.
So our neighbors have a cat and a dog that frequently poop on our yard. My girls have even stopped playing on some of the outside toys because we found cat poop on/in them. Even though I cleaned it out, Eden can't get passed it. That same cat has gotten in our garage and peed all over my nicely organized rubber maid bins. It also messed with my sad excuse of a garden, so I am afraid to plant anything this year.
We've had these particular neighbors for about three years. We never had a problem until they showed up. They chain smoke and leave their butts all over the side walk. They smell up the neighborhood with their bad habit. They fight and yell obscenities all hours of the night and their daughter was recently arrested in front of our house because of drugs and domestic violence. Not your typical Beaver Cleaver neighbors.
They are known in the neighborhood for their obnoxious cat and their obnoxious ways. The husband is on disability because he lost his arm in a work accident so they are ALWAYS home.
So when I saw Mr. Poopy cat on my fence ready to pounce into my yard, I grabbed a small rock in my left hand and tossed it at the fence close to where the cat was. I had no intentions of hitting it, or believe me, I would have used my right hand. The cat scurried off, no harm done....or so I thought.
The next thing I know I hear someone YELLING at me. I turn down my ipod (Soul Sister -Train), when I realized Oversized One Armed Man was directing his ridiculously loud voice at me.
OOAM - Hey! Hey you! What do you think you are doing! You can't throw rocks at my cat!
ME - Um, I didn't throw it AT your cat. I threw it at the fence to get your cat away from my yard.
OOAM -  I saw you. You were throwing it at my cat!
(even if I was, he couldn't see me from where he was)
ME - Look, if your cat wouldn't poop in my back yard I wouldn't have to try and keep him out of my yard.
OOAM - How do you know it's my cat?! It's not the only cat in the neighborhood. Do you sit here 24/7 watching your yard?!
ME - I don't need to watch. I...
OOAM - Answer my question!
ME -  I know every stinking cat in this neighborhood....
OOAM - 24/7!  24/7!
ME - I know that their owners don't let them poop in other people's...
OOAM - Answer me!
ME - (at this point I have unleashed the beast) I am trying to answer you but you are too busy screaming at me! Just as loudly as  you scream at your wife! I have lived here six years and we have had no issues until you lived here! Other neighbors are just as annoyed as we are!
OOAM - Your kids throw rocks in my yard!
OOAM - I'm sick of your kids throwing rocks in my yard!
ME - I have two girls who don't throw rocks. Are you kidding me!
OOAM - Yes they do!
ME - How do you know it's my girls? Do you watch your yard 24/7?!
OOAM - And your husband needs to fix the fence!
(we  had a storm a few weeks ago that knocked over a panel of our fence. It is attached just fine with some rope. He was going to fix it one of these days.)
ME - Don't worry. He will fix it. The last thing we want is any more poop in our yard! Maybe if I let my kids poop in your yard you would understand how frustrating and gross it is!
OOAM - You just need to calm down lady!
ME - You are the one that started screaming at me! Your wife may be used to being spoken to like that, but I am not!
Then I walked into my house. It was then that I realized my kids standing there with wide eyes. They were shocked. They kept assuring me that they have NEVER thrown rocks into his yard.
(BTW this was the short version of our conversation minus the swear words he lashed at me...)
Where was A you might ask? He was out in his car on the phone. He missed the fireworks. I'm sure he would have enjoyed me chewing someone else out other than himself.
Now I've had the day to let it all sink in. I feel dumb that I lost my temper and engaged in such a scene. I am mostly embarrassed that my kids saw/heard me. I'm pretty sure there was more Christ-like way to handle that situation but I'm blaming it on the endorphins!

*Oh and mom, leave a comment if you must, but  I pretty much already know what you are going to say...sorry I've disappointed you. Thanks for loving me anyway.

**The nice wife just stopped by and apologized for her husband. She also told me that she was going to buy some spray for us that will keep her cat out. She said her husband is a good man, he was just worried that I was going to kill their cat. I assured her I wouldn't and that I was sorry about the fight.


Jean McKendrick said...

Oh my gosh, I was laughing out loud as I read your post Jessica. You should've told him your aim is bound to improve next time. At least you used the word poop instead of something worse. We all have our "less than proud" human moments. I just wish I could've witnessed it. :)

doodooguru said...

Have Aric kill the cat!

I meant to say... you should make them cookies and don't think on it again. I am sure Jesus would make them a yummy dessert.

Bad neighbors suck, I know, oh boy do I know! You are just brave to blog about them. I have fears that my 'always home' neighbors would read my blog.

kthom said...

Nothing worse than random, unexpected cat poo in the back yard. My heart started racing just reading your conversation with oversized one armed man..."Answer me..." -are you kidding me? I'll bet you he's feelin a wee bit silly himself today.Ok, so maybe he's a big grump and doesn't feel silly but he should, and obviously his wife does. Just have your girls throw some rice krispy teats across the fence as a peace offering.

Ilene said...

Laughing about letting your kids poo in their backyard.

That line is a keeper.

I am NOT an animal peron either. Happily, Jackson is allergic so that battle will not have to be fought.

Annoying neighbors are bad news.

Jenny Erazo said...

Dang....bad neighbors SUCK! I was laughing out loud though about the whole "let my kids poop on your lawn" thing.

Natalie said...

i. love. you.

we are so the same it's not even funny. ask the poor guy at the car wash who's butt got chewed by me because he did a really crappy job (not my norm and there was much more to that story). Or ask the person in the target parking lot who called me a horrible mother. mother this, lady. (again, SO not my norm but sometimes it happens) We do our best and like you said, the most of us is kind, loving and generous. When we give in to the parts of us that are unkind, unloving and un-generous, it at least, makes for a great blog post:).

Shirley said...

Love the details you shared! I'm thinking in the moment every thing you said was on point!

Jessica said...

Never in four years have I seen this side of you.

Sure loved hearing about it though!

Lindsey said...

Um, yeah. You are going to kill their cat. Ugh. I hate situations like that. HATE. I would have lost it too.. I think you and I share our hot little tempers, AND SUPER FUN SIDES ALIKE! :) Sorry he stunk up your day. Obviously he was in the wrong, or his wife wouldn't have come over!

calibosmom said...

Them is fightin' words!!! I am laughing hysterically!!! I dislike cats too and I probably would have hit the cat with the rock. I pissed off my crazy neighbor so bad she dumped trash on my lawn. We're now friends so there is hope for you and your crazy cat man. ROAR!!!

Lauren in GA said...

Oh, my gosh Jessica. You and I are so much alike in this regard!! It takes a lot...but if my temper rears it's ugly head, head for the hills!

I got mad even reading this. The way he kept demanding that you, answer him by yelling, "Answer me! Answer my question!" made me seethe. I lose my temper when another adult treats me like a child.

We are also alike in that we don't seek out confrontation and we try very hard to be loving. Then if I do lose my temper I feel very guilty all day and chide myself for not being Christlike.

You are awesome.

Rochelleht said...

Oh, I loved this post more than words can say. Are we long lost sisters?! Cause I can't express how much I HATE CATS! And I just blogged about dog poop, so you should get a real kick out of that.

I totally empathize with losing your temper and feeling penitent afterward. I'm so glad the neighbor wife came to apologize. That was really nice of her.

Christie said...

You go, girl. Cat poo in your yard is nasty. What kind of a man yells at a woman? Seriously. What a loser.

Elena said...

Oh Jess. You and I feel the same way about cats (I do like other animals though) so no problem there. Also, I too am a pretty nice person until someone messes with my children or old people, then the ugliest meanest latino comes out, so I understand where it comes from. I'm just sorry that the yucky husband didn't and will never admit how crass and insulting he is (we both know a person like that) Sometimes, that's what it takes to get people's attention. I also feel sorry for his wife.

Mrs Ana said...

I'm proud to say that I am not a nice person and I HATE cats with a PASSION!!!! I would have loved to engaged with that neighbor and could have taken him and his cat any day of the week!! Good for you! As I recall I almost did the last time I was there. Love you!!

just the five of us said...

Time to bait the cat, and let it go home and fall over dead it's own yard;) We have a terrible cat problem in our neighborhood too, but they are all strays.

Dave and Ash said...

I like that this man is oversized and has one arm. That really adds to the story and the picture in my head. Although, I can't picture what cat poop looks like. Lucky me.

Leah said...

Jessica...that was awesome! You have guts to call him out like that. You are Refreshing!

My kids DO throw acorns into our old retired neighbors' pool. Their house is for sale and I'm sure it's because of us!

Hawaii, eh?! I read every guide book 10 times before I went and booked an awesome trip full of fun things. But our favorite things were the free things! The hiking (OH MY GOSH!!!! IT IS SOOOO EXHILIRATING!) and the beaches. Definitely do some kick butt hikes. Surreal. (We were on Kauai).

the wrath of khandrea said...