So I'm about to show a side of me that is rarely seen. Only my close family has ever seen this side. I have spent years taming the beast, but today I let'er go...
Okay back to this morning....8:30am to be exact.
So I was just finishing up my eight mile run. I was feeling good. As I approached my back gate, which opens up into my back yard, I see the neighbors cat on my fence.
I don't like cats. You don't understand I LOATHE them! I'm not an animal fan period. I get that people love them, I really do and that is fine. I just have a very sensitive nose and no matter how clean your pet is, they still smell. The thing I hate most about pets is the poop and the pee they create.
So our neighbors have a cat and a dog that frequently poop on our yard. My girls have even stopped playing on some of the outside toys because we found cat poop on/in them. Even though I cleaned it out, Eden can't get passed it. That same cat has gotten in our garage and peed all over my nicely organized rubber maid bins. It also messed with my sad excuse of a garden, so I am afraid to plant anything this year.
We've had these particular neighbors for about three years. We never had a problem until they showed up. They chain smoke and leave their butts all over the side walk. They smell up the neighborhood with their bad habit. They fight and yell obscenities all hours of the night and their daughter was recently arrested in front of our house because of drugs and domestic violence. Not your typical Beaver Cleaver neighbors.
They are known in the neighborhood for their obnoxious cat and their obnoxious ways. The husband is on disability because he lost his arm in a work accident so they are ALWAYS home.
(NOW BACK TO STORY)
So when I saw Mr. Poopy cat on my fence ready to pounce into my yard, I grabbed a small rock in my left hand and tossed it at the fence close to where the cat was. I had no intentions of hitting it, or believe me, I would have used my right hand. The cat scurried off, no harm done....or so I thought.
The next thing I know I hear someone YELLING at me. I turn down my ipod (Soul Sister -Train), when I realized Oversized One Armed Man was directing his ridiculously loud voice at me.
OOAM - Hey! Hey you! What do you think you are doing! You can't throw rocks at my cat!
ME - Um, I didn't throw it AT your cat. I threw it at the fence to get your cat away from my yard.
OOAM - I saw you. You were throwing it at my cat!
(even if I was, he couldn't see me from where he was)
ME - Look, if your cat wouldn't poop in my back yard I wouldn't have to try and keep him out of my yard.
OOAM - How do you know it's my cat?! It's not the only cat in the neighborhood. Do you sit here 24/7 watching your yard?!
ME - I don't need to watch. I...
OOAM - Answer my question!
ME - I know every stinking cat in this neighborhood....
OOAM - 24/7! 24/7!
ME - I know that their owners don't let them poop in other people's...
OOAM - Answer me!
ME - (at this point I have unleashed the beast) I am trying to answer you but you are too busy screaming at me! Just as loudly as you scream at your wife! I have lived here six years and we have had no issues until you lived here! Other neighbors are just as annoyed as we are!
OOAM - Your kids throw rocks in my yard!
ME - EXCUSE ME!
OOAM - I'm sick of your kids throwing rocks in my yard!
ME - I have two girls who don't throw rocks. Are you kidding me!
OOAM - Yes they do!
ME - How do you know it's my girls? Do you watch your yard 24/7?!
OOAM - And your husband needs to fix the fence!
(we had a storm a few weeks ago that knocked over a panel of our fence. It is attached just fine with some rope. He was going to fix it one of these days.)
ME - Don't worry. He will fix it. The last thing we want is any more poop in our yard! Maybe if I let my kids poop in your yard you would understand how frustrating and gross it is!
OOAM - You just need to calm down lady!
ME - You are the one that started screaming at me! Your wife may be used to being spoken to like that, but I am not!
Then I walked into my house. It was then that I realized my kids standing there with wide eyes. They were shocked. They kept assuring me that they have NEVER thrown rocks into his yard.
(BTW this was the short version of our conversation minus the swear words he lashed at me...)
Where was A you might ask? He was out in his car on the phone. He missed the fireworks. I'm sure he would have enjoyed me chewing someone else out other than himself.
Now I've had the day to let it all sink in. I feel dumb that I lost my temper and engaged in such a scene. I am mostly embarrassed that my kids saw/heard me. I'm pretty sure there was more Christ-like way to handle that situation but I'm blaming it on the endorphins!
*Oh and mom, leave a comment if you must, but I pretty much already know what you are going to say...sorry I've disappointed you. Thanks for loving me anyway.
**The nice wife just stopped by and apologized for her husband. She also told me that she was going to buy some spray for us that will keep her cat out. She said her husband is a good man, he was just worried that I was going to kill their cat. I assured her I wouldn't and that I was sorry about the fight.